Berlin By Bahn (Train)

An adventure on the Ringbahn

I step aboard the S41 Ringbahn at 14:36 on a Saturday afternoon. Wearing (objectively) my nicest shirt. Carrying only my phone and a water bottle. It’s busier than I expected. This excites me. I’m rawdogging it (no headphones) and keen to listen in to people’s conversations.

This is an adventure. A strange adventure. But my adventure nonetheless. I departed from my local station S- Sonnenallee with the intention of taking the train the entire loop. 27 stations over the course of one hour. The S in S-Bahn is from StadtScnhellBahn - translating to city express train.

It was a minute late which surprised me. But wouldn’t cause a local to blink. I’d only heard good things about the Deutsche Bahn (German national railway DB), but since arriving here have only heard negative things from locals. Granted, the S-Bahn is not part of the DB network. However, I’ve only heard of tardiness and cancellations from locals. Whereas, I had a fellow student in my German class - in Melbourne - who was also learning German so that he may join the DB.

But that’s not the point. I’m here to people-watch. To experience the world flying past my window. I’ve just gone past perhaps the most exciting section. Tempelhofer Feld - the old airport which is now a large park. I lucked out with my people-watching position, despite the train being busy, I got a great seat. I prefer the window and also to face backwards.

Hear me out: my head is always on a swivel, but if I see something that I find interesting, I get to really observe it until it becomes an obscurity in the distance.

Though as I type this, a man has sat across from me with urine stains down the front of his pants. He’s come in with a bottle of liquor and immediately turned on the radio. This is the experience I was hoping for when hopping on the train.

I hope you enjoy this train of thought piece - pun intended.

I am on edge, he’s been a little aggressive punching the wall + seat. But he seems to be loving the music, singing and laughing along. I hope it continues to be so harmless.

I had just written the sentence ‘usually I would change seats’ and deleted it. However, coughing and spitting have made my decision for me. Though I am still close enough to catch the radio from my new seat I can also hear the music from the headphones of the girl sitting opposite me.

There are significantly fewer craned necks than usual today. Everybody seemingly enjoying the low-lying sun. We probably have two hours of light left, as I cross the first quarter of this journey.

A familiar face. But not on the train. A FaceTime from my girlfriend. I felt a bit silly having to jump off the call quickly, but I wanted to get back into this piece.

Parks have made way for motorways. A singing girl has made way for a smiling man. German music on the radio has made way for Daft Punk. Ahh West Berlin, you have the air of Paris. Though being confined to the S-Bahn stations, I don’t get to enjoy you fully.

Airport luggage and bikes where they shouldn’t be. The number of commuters has really thinned out. Though the noises are the same. Muffled radios. Coughing, sniffing. The instructions in German tell me that the next station is on the left. The beeping, you know what I’m talking about. Reminding you to get tf out of the way of the doors before they trap your bag on the inside and you on the outside.

The voice of a child made me clucky. Frequent hi-fives, a future aspiration. Maybe if I listen in, they’ll be talking at a level of German that I understand. A flash of colour, someone’s lucky day. To be treated with flowers like the spring bloom beginning in May.

As we hit the halfway mark the sun changes sides, though not very hot, it’s assaulting my eyes.  The drunk man is shouting, the kid looks despaired. All to the sound of a symphony of strings. The DeutscheBahn tolls past as I see a belated trick-or-treater.

We stopped for a while at the halfway point. An anxious stop, trying to figure out if I’ll have to change train soon. Or, if this truly is a never-ending circle. As we are taking off, Gimme Gimme Gimme starts playing. Now I’m singing on the train and the little boy across the aisle is staring. Bopping his head as if this is one of his favourites too.

I’ve just been informed of a delay in German and then English. Our funny friend let out a big cheer. I’d love to know what’s going through his head right now. And everybody else’s for that matter. Where are they going, who’s waiting for them, who has the most exciting plans laid out for them this evening? Could it be me, potentially heading to a jazz jam session in West Berlin? We will never ever know. Everybody on this train is just a face to each other. Nobody we will ever remember again, but may be used in a dream. The crazy truth, is that you can only dream of faces that you have actually encountered in your life.

I’m a little bit early to get any debauchery, but this train ride wouldn’t have been anywhere near as visually interesting if I couldn’t see anything out the window.

Another delay, this time at Westhafen. Soundtracked by Eminem on the radio and the gossiping of another two trick-or-treaters. I was mistaken. Though the biggest mistake was that I thought this journey would be finished within an hour. Perhaps the lived experience of the locals. More surprises, the train has spontaneously terminated. The next one arrives in 2 minutes. Not the end of the world. 

Besides, now I get to watch my new friend dancing. I was mistaken, the next train is in 11 minutes. We are “running to an irregular schedule due to police activity”. The next train I get on is also going to take me one stop before I have to change. 

Exactly one hour after I boarded the train. For those who remember, was also meant to be the time I would be finishing. I have just stepped off my second train… to catch a rail replacement bus. God, this is so mundane but I am having so much fun. I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen next. Despite this being a supposedly straightforward circular journey around Berlin. Welcome to Wedding - pronounced with a V.

Didn’t think I’d be running on this journey, but here I am, breathless, having run to get on the rail replacement bus. It’s full. There’s a child screaming and a driver barking into the PA. But we’re moving. Forward progress. Glad that I had my runner on. Yes, you are reading that correctly. I have my runners on with my (objectively) nicest shirt.

I can’t see as much out the windows of a bus, but I’m experiencing a much more assorted crowd. Right in the thick of it. The fella in front of me taking one for the team. Trying to be the third-party entertainment to stop the child screaming ‘NEIN’ every few seconds.

Stop number 17. Gesundbrunnen. The journey continues in weird and wonderful ways. Boys playing keeps-ups. Men sat on the bridge wall drinking coffee. Graffiti-covered buildings where one hangs out the window to shake out their washing.

Back off the bus as I join the slow march of commuters trudging toward the train. What an average Saturday. What an annoyance, for everyone but I. We’ve just entered golden hour, how could you lose your glee? Give it another hour and nighttime it will be.

Back on the train. It’s noticeably darker now on the train when the lights to assist entry are dimmed. Though not dark enough to stop old mate opposite me from wearing his sunnies. I’ve reached the threshold too. A man with a beer sits in the opposite pew.

More music, thought this time through TikTok, not the tinny radio of the fellow from before. The sound of music ceases, only to be replaced by the sound of saliva squelching as gum is chewed with an open mouth.

I cross the river Spree once more, immediately followed by my re-entry into ‘West Berlin’. The American zone, not to be confused with the West Berlin I was talking about before. The pretty side, in the geographical west of the city. 

The penultimate station. The train felt full, loading up its cargo from those joining us at Ostkreuz. Nobody knows that I’ve caught this train the entire way around and nobody cares. But I do, it’s been fun. 

I read on the screen Nächste Station: Sonnenallee as the voiceover tells me to exit to the left. And just like that. 106 minutes after it began, my journey has ended. The persistent dinging a reminder that the doors are opening and it’s time to disembark.

As I walk out of the station, my watch vibrates to let me know that the sun will dip below the horizon in exactly ten minutes. Which is the exact amount of time it takes me to walk home. Perfect timing.

I feel like Beau Miles would be proud of this one. Making an adventure in your own backyard. Sure, I may have visited every district in Berlin, but it didn’t cost me a dime and I could do it right from my doorstep.

It’s been a while since I’ve written one of these done-in-one articles. They’re fun. This one will be unedited as I look not to censor my thoughts. But I’ve had too many now, as I walk in the door.

I hope you enjoyed and I’ll see you on Sunday 🤠